When my mom suggested we take a trip this month, I was hesitant because of the exhaustion of travel I have felt and the fear of flying I acquired during my Thailand/Turkey/Germany trip. However, with enough preparation…
|Tobago is so small.|
Off to Tobago of Trinidad & Tobago we went! Having my mama by my side on the first flight, remembering the things strangers told me to help me feel better on all of those flights last year, and trying to talk myself out of panic seemed to have worked. I flew back to NYC alone and had no fear, in fact felt like I was soaring over the clouds. I'd found peace and found myself thinking about all the places I wanted to go and all the things I wanted to work on and accomplish in this life.
|Flowers add something pretty to the post =)|
2012 was mildly turbulent. I learned a lot in school. I figured out what I want to do with my life (social work/counseling with incarcerated teens or something akin to that). I went back to Thailand. I fell in love with Istanbul. I was really happy. My heart opened up and I welcomed people into it. I moved out. Some of my childhood innocence was lost. Friendships ended. I was lonely. It was not the best year, but it most certainly was not the worst. It was just life.
2013 started off/continued on a low. I've never used this blog to get too personal and intimate about myself, but that being said I am resolved to do better in 2013. Staying at Kariwak Village on Tobago with a mother who put up with all of my ruminating and self-deprecating monologues and provided insightful bits of peace opened my eyes to some things about myself I had not been aware of. It is important to know that even when life is fantastic, one should not forget to be in touch with oneself - it's easy to get drunk on happiness (but drinking isn't actually good for your liver!). It's a shame that it takes disappointing a whole bunch of people - dear, close friends - and myself to recognize these things - but such is life.
My goals for 2013:
4. Productivity (meaning, to not be so wasteful with my time)
So if you notice me doing something contrary to these goals, please remind me. Maybe you don't know the deeper meaning behind these goals, but you sure do know when your friend is not being mindful, not showing compassion, not accepting, and not productive. Besides how can I encourage my angry, sad teens to practice such things if I am not?
|I ain't scared of no plane.|